For My Wonderful Love

My Other Holding Hand

Having a child in my holding hand,

But my other holding hand is empty.

I lean my shoulder for her to cry on

When she gets hurt, I feel her pain,

I take it, and weigh it painfully

In my heart, however

I must not show my weakness

Because I have to be like a dad also,

So I can see her smile again

But deep down inside,

I need someone to shed my tears.

All those years being a single mother,

I can give her all my love, all my strength

Because she is my life, my world

But I can see something missing

In her life that deserves to be filled.

All those years, she knows it in her heart,

So, she stands with her guard up

Even she has an enormously heart

Waiting to share with.

Life can be full of surprises,

And unexpected when I stop hoping.

You come along not just

In my life, her life also.

You are the new chapter

To begin, and continue

Our lives to something

Wonderful and fulfilling.

You are the color with

So much love, so much more.

You have no idea

How happy I truly am

To see her smiling in

Miles from here to the sun.

I am touched deeply

When I see her putting

Her guard down, and

Opening arms

For you to hug her.

Her life is filled because of you,

She has another shoulder to cry on,

And at lastly, you shed my tears,

And take my pain away,

Remind me that I am not alone anymore.

Not just you being the color

Of our lives,

Brave that you are to take

The big part of her life

That she is been longing for.

One more thing,

Thanking you may not be enough,

But with all my heart and

Appreciation that does

For holding my hand

And filling my daughter’s

Life.

You are the best,

Happy Father’s Day.

2011

For Mi Papito

Living your busy life

Driving a truck

Passing by different type of cars

Listening to radio

Waving hello to truck drivers

Keeping eyes on the road

Busy thoughts on your mind

Driving city to city, then state to state

Nothing can stop you

Till you see the colors up in the sky

Changes when the sun goes down

To the ocean

Thinking how amazing the sun

Transform the sky something

So beautiful, so unforgettable

Because you see

You are my sun,

I am your sky

You have impacted my life

Into something so colorful

That I would impossibly forget

When you look at the sky like this

Because I am thinking of you

And you are always in my prayer

For you come home safe

I can’t imagine my life

Without the best man

whose is my father.

I love you Papito,

Father’s Day 2011

Just Remember...

Some of you look in the mirror and say

“Life sucks!”

Some of you sit alone and say

“Why is this happening to me?”

Some of you watch people and say

“Wish I have their happiness”

Some of you feel hopeless and say

“Who cares if I do this even I don’t?”

Some of you need a flashlight and say

“See, you have forgotten me!”

Some of you think and say

“I don’t matter anymore!”

Right?

Well, indeed….

Life can be hard.

However you are depended on life based on

What choices you choose. 

No one is perfect knowing what’s for the best

But life is an experience, learn from it, and make a better choice

So you can say

“I love living my life!”

Sometimes life leaves you no choice, just don’t give up.

Find a solution so you can say

“I made it!  I can do it again!”  

Now and then you see life differently

Bless these grey hair grow on you daily

Understand these wrinkles give you a story

Be thankful when you wake up a new day

Just remember….

You are bigger than life.

My Grandmother

Last Thursday 19^th in the morning turned out to be a really sad day.  Someone passed away the night before.  Someone was a mother of nine children.  Someone lived to the fullest that she was almost a hundred years old.  I felt sympathy for my dad losing his mom but he understood that it was her time after she had been sick for the last two years.  She had been taken care from two nurses that her children hired to keep her health in stability and to keep her hair beautiful and silkily shine as it always was.  She lived this far just to watch her children making their story of lives, and watch her grandchildren building their futures and reaching their goals.  Now then her life was completed, and she wanted to be up there with the love of her life.  Her husband, who had been longing for her to hold his hand again.  God bless them to be together again after all.

Tree of Life never stops living from circle to circle but only one person will when the time stops clicking.  Life is amazing when two people creates someone new and walk their child to know the difference of choices, and at once a child becomes to be an adult, the parents reunited to each other.  When their child turns to be a parent, they become to be grand parents, swinging the chairs together to watch their grandchildren running wild.

Life is never enough for the life itself that goes on around and around....

Here is something I want to share.  I found this poem from no where years ago and it left me wondering and realizing how the life worked for everyone.

TIME

Life a living story of oneself

Life, a story that cannot read

New life, a young couple with

something new to love,

New life, a phrase some day

all can enjoy

Child life, a time of uncertainly

and a time to learn,

Child life, a time for knowing

right from wrong

Teen life, a time for fun,

and carefreeness,

Teen life, a time to grow and

mature for the days ahead

Early adult life, a time for

companionship

Adult life, a time to make

commitments

Married Life, a time for trust,

Married life, a time to show

affection

Parent life, a time to give of

your knowledge

Parent life, a time to see

your seed grow

Senior life, a time to look back

on the joy as health fails

Senior life, a time to grow

old until no more

Grandmother, I wish to know you better, where you came from, and how you were like as a person, but I love you anyway, and thank you for creating the most wonderful son.  I love my father, and I am very fortunate to be part of his life as he is part of mine.  You were amazing to give nine births, and spread them to many more, you had traveled all over the world to remind them that you loved them all in equal and let them fill your memories.  You are touched to each heart deeply and when you were gone, you left something in each of us...  your love.  

Life is Never Enough for Being a Mother

Watching her blossoming

Counting my grey hair

Keeping up with her sizes

Counting my wrinkles

Remembering her laughs

Counting days of my life

Saving her little things

Realizing my time goes by

Embracing her love

Giving my love

Life is never enough

For being a mother

That will always

Be there for her

Every reason she needs me

Live for her

That guides her to grow

Watch for her

As her life goes by

As my love for her

Will forever be there.

Remember... Remember...

Open your album book, look at all those precious pictures of the day you became to be a mother.  Remember the moment when you first learned that you were pregnant, remember the new change in your pregnancy that you may had vomited, or disliked to eat that you normally ate, remember those wonderful naps from heaven in the first trimester, remember the feelings that you realized that you were no longer sized 5 in jeans, remember to check the updated size for the bra each month as it grew bigger, remember the struggle you tried to comfort yourself on bed with probably ten pillows all around, remember how many times you had cried to the sentimental movies, remember the disappointment that you would not wear sexy sleep clothes but a huge ass T-Shirt, remember how funny you walked while your pony tail was really bouncing, remember how difficult you had to get out from the bath tub, remember to pick up foods from your breasts after it fell from your mouth while eating, remember the view from your eyes when you looked down, you could not see your feet anymore, remember the tiredness you tried to keep up with your beauty looks, remember the very uncomfortable feelings when you had to sit on the driver seat, and be sure your belly wasn’t touched to the wheel, remember the stretched marks that frightened you a lot, remember the movements on your belly, you laughed excitedly, remember all the warm love from your family, and friends even strangers,  remember the calendar that been marked by a day by a day that you had been looking forward to meet your beautiful baby, and remember the most longest day of your life that you, at last, had first your baby in your arms after the long struggle hours of birth. 

“Hello baby!  This is your Mommy!”  Remember the most precious and embraced moment when you called yourself Mommy to your baby, and those tears ran down on your cheek explained all the overwhelming emotional. 

9 long months of not only carrying a baby, but living through the changes of your body that you had to learn how to deal with, and learn how to make yourself feel better from all those morning sickness, discomforted from clothes fitting, sleeping comfort zone, especially wanting to have sex with your partner but concerned with how he would feel by seeing you naked with a whole huge belly, (however men have no problem with seeing originally boobs to the bigger size, right?  LOL) and those nervous thoughts if you could handle to be a mother but carrying a baby was the most beautiful experience you have ever had and those steps of being pregnancy was all the worthwhile of your life. 

Then you didn’t mind to get pregnant and go through all those steps again because having another baby in your arms surely blow your 9 months of struggle just in a second, and give you all the happiness, and the love has grown for your partner even more!! 

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you beautiful mothers especially grandmothers that watch your daughters becoming mothers! 

Life is never enough with such a gift to another…. 

FRIENDS & FAMILIES, Don't Judge without Knowing the Sides.

Judging on a person that u even know most of your life without asking to listen to his/her side.  I wonder, what thoughts do you have in mind?  Is it jealous that you see her or him being buddy-buddy with someone that had done wrong to you?  Feeling anger inside that you know you can’t control her or him to be friend with, or not to be friend with?  Or maybe you are afraid to lose this person again if she or he befriends with someone?

Of course, you can always tell her or him how you feel about whatever that makes you uncomfortable.  That is part of the communication key to keep friendship going however you don’t need to judge on her or him, or shout at her or him saying out loud that they are not smart enough to be befriend with someone.  You never know what their sides are if you keep on judging them simply because you dislike what you see or how you feel.

Come on, enough with judging especially you know this person for the most of your life, and people makes mistakes.  How about judge yourself because you are still making mistakes everyday. 

Yep, no one is perfect, we still make mistakes everyday even that we don’t realize. 

Well, if you don’t like what you see this person being buddy-buddy with someone, why not suggest an advice and don’t forget to mention how much you care for him or her, so they will feel appreciated, and cared from you, and who knows they will consider to listen and take your advice.  Judging make things worst and they will not listen to you at all and even tell you to mind your own business with the middle finger up to your face.  

So, that is YOUR mistake, don’t you realize that?

Don’t waste your time thinking so hard why they are friends.  Don’t waste your time judging on the person without knowing the sides.  Don’t waste your time out of nothing. 

:::Question:::

What are you doing right now at the moment?  Sitting alone, staring at the facebook just inches away from your face like you have no life, panting like a mad bull out of jealous and anger, looking at your phone, and you can not control how emotionally you are.  There you are texting, yelling, and judging at him or her.

Now, how do you feel?  Better?  Satisfied that you are over the top of the head that you are right at everything?

Really dumb, I am applauding and here is my advice.

Be prepared to say goodbye to the friendship, and weep. 

Judge yourself next time, alright?

Technology World

“Mommy, can I have a Webcam?” 

“Umm, my friend has a Webcam!”

“Grandma lets me do whatever I want, so….” 

“I promise that I will be good!  Please can I use your Webcam!?”

Mother has the worst imagination of a child that is only nine years old using the Webcam, and is afraid for perverted strangers to crack the innocent mind of hers, then it may make her curious, or it may leave her some trauma. 

“No, sweetie you are not going to have Webcam at this time.” says mother and hugs her, then get pushed away.

“Why?!  You have it, and I don’t!” folds in her arms with such a cute disappointed face.

Mother has to explain that there are many scary people out there that may seem nice enough for her to accept them as friends from facebook, and then ask to see through Webcam just to say hello.  Maybe at first, nothing happens but the more times they see each other, the chance she may get to see something weird and scary.

Of course, you can’t expect a child to really understand it, all she says “Whatever!”  Just you wait for a few days or a few hours later, she comes back and asks.

“How old were you when you have the Webcam?”

“About late 20ish.”

“Oh… that late?”  There, she has the surprise look!  And then she understands a little bit then returns to her room. 

 You bet that a nine years old girl has realized and has to learn to accept and wait til she becomes 20 years old to have the Webcam.  Haha! 

So, you see nowadays that a lot of children at the early age pretty much have everything, and some children don’t.  That  is what makes others wanting and begging parents to get them something but what they don’t realize that there are important things than “I want that, I want this too!” stuff,  for instance, do some outdoor actives, make some art crafts, or create some show and tell with friends or siblings.  Education can be fun too, read scary books to girls during the sleepover, play the hangman game, or draw something without telling what it is.  There are many ways to have fun than video games, and sit your butt that is getting bigger, and bigger than your head.  Or even worse, to flash yourself into the Webcam just for boys to see so they will like you, then you will have to live a long life with the regret.

Well, that is their new generation differently than ours, and we, parents, are trying to teach them how to live without the technology world because you never know what will happen one of these days.

Be a survivor, live it through and you can handle anything from old fashion to technology world. 

Good morning to beautiful and pollen out there,

When it comes to end the dream, first thing I think is… the pollen!  Wish I could sleep longer, enjoy the beauty sleep, and satisfied with eight hours of sleep unfortunately I have to wake up to make sure my daughter gets dressed for school, and I feel something from my nose.  Ahh!  Runny!  Allergy!  Pollen!  Tissue box is the first thing I look for every morning and it has been my best friend (that my boyfriend nicknames the tissue box and teases about it sometimes!)  If tissue box is ran out, then toilet paper as a back up.  Benadryl as I nickname “Pink Pill”, been taking it since about 22 years old that I believe it has worked but crazy with drowsy everyday of my life then I stop taking it daily about a few years ago.  Only taking it during season changes mostly in spring and sometimes winter, sadly that spring is one of my favorite seasons that everything starts to feel beautiful by the warm weather, being shined by sunny, getting tan, reading books at the swimming pool or beach in cute bikini, hanging out at paintball places, counting butterflies fly past you, watching children running around wildly, wearing dresses, feeling so great-- Oh my do I have to name every thing that makes me feel beautiful and pollen is amazingly ruining it?   

According to taking Pink Pill, now taking a new medicine that is Allerga that my boyfriend suggests, hopefully it will work however I still like taking Pink Pill because I never have eight hours of sleep, so it encourages me to sleep a few more hours.  So, I look healthy with enough sleep but…  rarely!  Thank god for the makeup to cover up the dark areas around my eyes!  It is repeating just like this everyday til pollen is completely gone, then I will be looking forward for summer to come….  But…  but..  yes… BUT!!!  There is something else that ruins the summer is the mosquitoes!!!  Oh boy, there is always something else but hey, spray named “OFF!” really works!  

So, when will I ever get better and overcome with the allergy on my own so I can say good bye to Pink Pill?  It’ll save my money A LOT if its not for pollen.  So, thanks to the pollen!  >8(  Well, you see the yellow pollen on the street, grasses, anywhere around the trees?  That’s how they sneeze, so that makes sense!  Hahaha!       

Well, there I finally have started my blog!  Actually its not what I expect to start with like that but there will be better blogs.  Probably one of the blogs will be about mosquitoes!!  So, don't be surprised!  ;)